from my project

We pull up to Lily�s house, which is smack in the middle of noveau trash Manalapan. Sure enough, there she was on her porch, popping her gum and reading a Teen People.

I slunk up to the porch with Zach trotting after me.

�You�re late,� she said, not even looking up from the magazine. �You think I don�t run a business? You think I�m not a busy woman? Just because I�m out here in this hell they call a suburb doesn�t mean I�m not running a business, little girl.�

�I�m sorry . . .I . . .my car . . .�

�Not my problem.�

�Lily . . .�

�Charlotte. Let me tell you something. If I gave in to every sad eyed down assed chick that came up on my porch like she deserved to be here, I wouldn�t be running a business. I�d be running a charity.�

�It was my fault,� Zach said quietly. Sounding somehow more . . .Irish than he did before.

�I care?� Lily said dismissively but looked up from her rag.

� What can I do for you to make you care?� he asked, his voice low.

�Touch�, mon pussycat,� she said, smiling slowly.

�This isn�t your problem,� I said sharply, not liking the way she was looking at him.

�You brought him here sweetie pie. You made this his problem. You�re slipping small Charlotte. Come back tonight. At midnight. I�m throwing a party. Bring him.�

�Lily, I just want my��

�This?� She said, materializing a small packet of fairy dust powder out of seemingly nowhere. �You and everyone else, small Charlotte.�

She took my face into her hands, her sharp pointy nails biting into my skin and put her face so close to mine we were almost nose to nose. I could smell the sticky sweet of her gum. �As long as I have what you need, you are my doll. And you will do what I tell you. Or I cut you off. And I will cut you off from every dealer in this godforsaken rock you call central jersey. And if you doubt for a moment I can, test me. You are lucky. You are lucky I am benevolent and don�t demand what I could demand.� Her eyes were suddenly wide and sad and the secrets in them nearly fathomless.

�Me alone, Lily,� I whispered. �This is between us. As women.�

�Yes, but he is young and hot and has an west Irish accent if I�m not mistaken. No one will bite

him . . .unless he wants it.�

�I won�t sell him for me,� I whispered back.

�That�s what makes you different than my other junkies, small Charlotte. I can respect that. I still can respect you. One day, maybe not so. Maybe tonight. Maybe in a few months. You manage to hold out, you still wash your hair. You are my posterchild, you know that, yes? You still look good. Your eyes are still bright with secrets and sadness instead of dead. You don�t smell like a funeral yet. Yet. I promise no harm will come to him tonight.�

I sighed. Lily rarely made promises. I still didn�t like it.

�I can�t speak for him,� I whispered finally. �I don�t know him.�

Lily laughed. �You brought him all the way over here and you don�t know him? You really are slipping.�

�It�s . . .complicated.�

Lily gently released my face and stared into space for a moment. She did that sometimes, in the year or two I knew her. As far as I could tell she didn�t use, just sold. I think once she said something along the lines of dealers who use were worth even less than the worst junkies. �I know you�ve been eavesdropping,� she said to Zach.

He nodded.

�Your answer?�

Lily and Zach exchanged a long look. I had no idea what either of them determined from the other. �I like parties,� he said casually.

�Good,� she said. �Then at midnight.� Without even waving, she turned around and walked back into her house.

Too Soon Known | Known Too Late

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